Introspection

The other day, I made this post remarking about how bizarre my bad days are.

Well, I just suffered through another pretty rough couple of hours, and it has occurred to me why my mother's funeral is really turning up the emotion meter.

At the end of my Dad's service a couple years ago, I was sitting between my Mom and Suzy. I remember breaking down at the end, turning and putting my head on Suzy's shoulder to cry. And I remember later thinking to myself, I bet Mom noticed that. And I bet that, at the moment, we both knew that I belonged to Suzy more than to she.

Saturday, I will have nobody to turn to, no shoulder to cry upon. I am on my own, but I will carry all their memories forward. I hope my mother, father, and wife are all looking out for me somewhere. For this week, I am lost.